How to fart in front of someone's face.

If you have your friends smell your fart completely,
this technique is really effective.
You say to your friends like this.

(At this time you have the big box, bags or something like that
with your both hands. In short, you tell your friends you can't use
both your hands.)

You: Hey, will you pick my key out of my rear pocket?
Friend: O.K.

(Your friend will search the key in your pocket.
but no keys there. It is a lie.)

You: Hey, search harder. It must be.

(The harder your friend look for it,
the closer his face must approach to your hip.)
Don't miss this moment.
You fart with your power full.

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Why does a fart make a sound?

The muscles of the anus is doing its best so that feces may not leak.
When feces come out, it opens greatly, and when a fart comes out, it opens a little.
If gas passes along the anus with sufficient vigor, membrane will vibrate and sound will come out.
The strength and loudness of the sound depend upon the passage speed of gas, and the quantity which comes out.
The number of a fart increases by the old person is due to the weakness of the anus muscles.

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The Fart Bottle

In the childhood, I believe, everyone is thinking of making a fart bottle.
The fart bottle is a bottle filled with fart.

There was no exception for me.
I was always wondering if I could make the fabulous bottle.
I thought to myself "If I make the fart bottle,
I can make people smell my farts anytime. It' so cool!"
It was the time when I was in the fourth grade.
In those days, the star sand was really popular in Japan.
The star sand is the sand each grain of which is star-shaped,
and was sold filled in a little bottle at that time.
My sister kept one, but she threw it away in her room
because she lost any interest of it.
I found it and put it in my pocket secretly.

The bottle was corked, and 4 cm height.
I exclaimed with joy "That's it. That's it."
Immediately, I made up my mind to invent the fart bottle
that I had been longed for.
I picked the cork jar, throw the sand away,
farted into the empty bottle, and corked quickly.
This bottle was the marvelous one than I had expected.
I jumped with joy again and again.
I made one and smelled it repeatedly many times.
However, soon I came to think that
I wanted the others to taste this bottle,
and I managed to do it.
As I expected, everyone got disgusted,
and frowned, which delighted me.
My cousin, who was two years younger than I,
got excited with my invention of this bottle.

It was not so long before I wanted to improve it:
I wanted more powerful smell, and wanted to
fill farts 100 % in a bottle.
I tried and tried. Finally I came to a conclusion:
When I made the bottle, I wore a pair of trousers.
They prevented the fart from getting into
the bottle to some degree.
Then, putting the bottle on my ass directly is the answer!!
At last, my dream came true.
I got it. I got the perfect bottle.
I told my cousin about the bottle,
when he came to my house again.
Sure enough. He said "I want to try it."
And he did.
"Great, great invention!!
Marvelous!! Pure fart, isn't it!?
It really stinks. Great!! "
He seemed to be moved very much.

But I have to confess the fact that
the bottle still stinks after the farts inside
came out of the bottle fully.
The stink he smelled is not of the fart,
but of my ass.


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What is a fart?

Farts consist of 30 to 40% gas and 60 to 70% air. The air was inhaled by the mouth and the gas was made with the bacteria
which are in intestines. It is reported that people fart 5 to 20 times per day in average. The quantity is 1-2l liters.

However, this is not fixed at the difference in individual difference or food. A sweet potato which contains abundant starch, and a cabbage
which has many fibers increases the quantity of farts. 99% gas of a fart is gas called nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane
which occupies 99% does not have a smell. The stink is only 1% or less of gas. Ammonia, Hydrogen sulfide, Indole, Skatole.

These gas is produced when the bacteria in the large intestine disassemble protein. Interesting one is Indore.

If Skatole thins with great force, it will become the materials of a perfume. In the large intestine, there are 100 kinds of and no less than 100 trillion bacteria.
Abundant things of protein, such as legumes and meat cause a stinking fart especially.

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